Mama Advice…

peach-solly-baby-wrap jcrew-summer-straw-hat jcrew-straw-hat arvo-watch solly-baby-wrapTee: T by Alexander Wang | Bottoms: Frame | Hat: J.Crew | Sandals: J.Crew (on sale!!!) | Wrap: Solly Baby Wrap ℅ | Glasses: Karen Walker | Watch: Arvo ℅ | Lips: Liner- Bodley Bare, Lipstick- Creme Cup, Gloss- Turkish Delight

Isla is getting to the phase where she wants to be held all. day. long. (oh and all night too)! During the day I’ve been using this wrap (she loves it) so I can still get things done around the house and have my hands free. I soak up all of the snuggles and don’t get me wrong I absolutely love holding my baby girl but it’s getting to the point where she won’t even go to sleep or nap unless I’m holding her. All you mama’s out there, do you have any advice?? She might just be going through a phase but I don’t want to start any bad habits!!

Thanks in advance for the advice!!!!!

xo, Rach

160 Comments

  1. Dear Rachel,
    as I love cuddles, I am probably not going to give you the best advice around here…I always held my son a lot when he was so little. In order to get some “free” time to get chores done I would sit him a little time on his trolley or on a cradle and let him have something to do, like watching me :-) or a soft toy or make him listen to some sweet music. At first you will win just a few minutes, but slowly Isla will also get used to stay on her own for longer time spans. Don’t worry about spoiling her now! Every baby is absolutely unique, but I believe that rules can be asserted also later when she will a few months older.
    Lots of love!
    Cristina

  2. Adore following you & your beautiful baby girl! I have an 11 month old and am due with #2 in early November! I too was very cautious about starting bad habits, but I rec’d some great advice and believe it to have helped: The first 3-4 mins are considered the 4th trimester and baby is adjusting to being out of the womb and in a loud, scary, bright, cold world. Sometimes Momma is the only thing that feels, smells, and seems safe. This time is purely survival mode – do whatever you have to to keep the peace, calm, and sanity. I really don’t think you can instill bad habits this early – everything with them is a phase and usually passes quickly (even though it feels so slow). Our pediatrician didn’t have us start enforcing a schedule or sleep training until 4 months when they deemed the baby was ready and “it was time”. If nothing else, talk to Isla’s doctor about it. I got so much advice from so many sources, but really I just subscribed to theirs (the pediatrician) and ran with whatever they advised. Best of luck to you! I promise, you WILL get your nights, sanity, quiet time, and life (although different & more wonderful) back soon! It really does calm down and get so much more fun once you get through the first few newborn months! Hang in there!

  3. My daughter is a week younger than Isla so I know how you feel! My husband & I have had success with calming our baby & helping her nap & sleep better by using the techniques in the book/short movie ‘The happiest Baby on the Block’. I had heard a lot about these techniques while pregnant & even when our baby was a couple of weeks old & we were struggling to get her to sleep & I assumed it was just ‘another advice book’. It is not!!! It totally works & has helped our baby & us get more sleep, accomplish more tasks, & help her become a bit more independent. If you check it out, I hope it helps. Oh & i move her bouncer around the house with me so she can watch me do tasks & use a giraffe soother (with different sounds) & it helps a lot. Good luck & since I’m a new mom too, I’ve been loving it when you incorporate ‘mama’ posts these days ;-)

  4. My 10 month old boy was the SAME way at that age! It was overwhelming at times!! One thing that helped me was to schedule her feedings right when she wakes up as opposed to right before she falls asleep. This way she won’t develop a dependency on the boob to sleep and she won’t start using you as a pacifier. It doesn’t mean that she won’t want you for comfort, it will just help her to detach for small periods of time! Also, a playmat that is very colorful and a swing with something for her to look at overhead will keep her interested. But the best advice I could give is to enjoy it. It won’t last long and you blink and they are 10 months old and busy and walking and not in that little newborn phase anymore! I wish I had hired more help with the house and just soaked it in a little more! Good luck!! You are doing a great job!

  5. This thing saved my life! It is weighted on top and the sides (supposedly to mimic the pressure of being held by mama), and keeps their arms in so tightly that they can’t stale themselves awake. We have other awakes, but my baby never naps quite the same in others!

  6. hi Rachel!
    Honestly, I understand It may be overwhelming, but I gave in held my daughter all the time! She loved hearing my voice and heartbeat…. Everything about holding her was so soothing to her! I enjoyed it till I couldn’t no more, but she has always had a strong bond with me (she’s now about to turn 5) and I’m the first person she runs to for soothing or whatever. Btw, that only lasted like 1 1/2 mo, and then she slept through the night and in her room! She’s been a very independent girl, so far ;) enjoy your beautiful little girl ;)

  7. I’m not a mom but I have a bunch of experience with kids and I think eventually she’ll get more and more used to being on her own. At the start not so much but she’ll learn to be entertained by being in a comfy basket or with a little toy. Love the wrap by the way!

    -M
    http://www.violetroots.com

  8. My daughter loved sleeping in the fisher price snugglebunny bouncer for naps. It has a snuggly insert that makes them feel held and vibrates. I ued to also roll up two aden and anais breathable blankets and place them on the sides of her when napping so she would feel enclosed. I noticed they did it in the hospital where she was born. Worked for me :)

  9. When my son was a tiny baby I worried about everything all. the. time. What I realized is that yes most of it is just a phase and that really everything goes by so fast that you will be missing those snuggles.

  10. Hi Rachel,
    first I want to point out that you look incredible and the photos are so sweet!
    II’m not a mom but I know I couldn’t fall asleep without holding my hand and what she did was hold my hand and very very VERY slowly start to untangle her fingers one by one so by the time I was completely out she just had to untangle one finger.
    Of course I felt this sometimes and I squeezed her hand back haha so she would sit again with me not letting her go.
    I also always slept with the same plush toy I had since day one, I don’t know if Isla has one?
    a tip from me, she probably knows she’s with you because of your smell so putting a t-shirt that you’ve worn before or a pillow blanket you’ve slept on a few nights laying next to her in her crib?
    I hope one of the tips (from me or someone else) can help you both!
    & like you said, enjoy the snuggles. It’s pretty clear your little one loves you!
    x Lyn

  11. Hi!

    Have you tried a rock and play yet? The ones that vibrate specifically. My Emilia napped in those exclusively until about 6 months old! It was such a life saver and they are only like $50 at Babies r Us or Target! Good luck! -Courtney @mrscocowyse

  12. I am a mother of four almost five. I would invest in a nice infant swing. Mobiles in crib that light up and play soothing music rock too.

  13. My baby is 10 weeks old an e went throught the same! I read in various places that it is a phase of their development, that they are starting to discover more of their world and understand a bit better who you are, therefore they want to be held, they want to be carried around and learn and see other things. I hold my boy as much as I can because these are precious fleeting moments! I also wear a solly wrap to do things but sometimes even that gets in the way, so I usually lay him on a playmat or his bassinett and play music, that usually buys me a few minutes! haha

  14. The images between a new mother for the first time & her baby is priceless. Developing a forever bond is even a more cherished gesture. At this early stage of life, the baby can only sense that when she cries out she gets some movements to her such as a hand touched or a picked up which gives her warmth & the feel of coziness, eventually the baby will get used to if it keeps up, and it might turn into a habit as she grew a slight older. A baby rocker sleeper might be able to help her ease into the replacement of being hold all the time.
    Even though, I am not a mother yet, but I have a very close connection with my niece as I watch her mother handles situation as these being talked about. :)

    La Bijoux Bella | by mia

  15. Hi Rachel my little Lucy is 8 weeks now and like your Isla wanted to be im my arms 24/7 it was exhausting. Like you I used a stretchy wrap sling to do little bits of housework and prepare meals but really
    advice is to not to pu too much pressure on yourself and enjoy those precious snuggles, get help from Dad and family and friends becau
    se it is a phase that she will outgrow before you know it! A newborn ccannot be spoiled you are not forming bad habits a babies emotional and physical needs are best met by being held. The baby who is held either in arms or a carrier has been shown in research too be a happier and healthier child. So keep doing what youre doing!a

  16. Hi Rachel, I first want to congratulate you for baby Isla, she is lovely and you are a beautiful mom.

    I have a 10 month old girl. When she was as Isla what we tried to get her used to her bed so that when she would go to sleep and nap in her own bed. During the day if she was awake we cuddled, would pass from my arms to her dads then to granny’s arms and so on, since we didn’t have any baby chair in the house to place her right until 3 months ago that we bought the nuna, which by the way she loves it and it’s great for when they nap, when it was her time to nap or to sleep we cuddled her and then we would place her in her crib, that way I could be able to do things around the house and she wouldn’t be so used to being in our arms all day.

    As you say it’s not that we didn’t love her buuuuuuut it’s nice that she’s able to sleep by her self with out us all day on top of them.

    Now that mine is older she’s able to sleep on her own, on top of us and anywhere in the house practically.

    Note: we didn’t alter her feeding routine doing this. It’s was on demand every 2 hours all day.

    Hope this helps. If you need any more advice just write.

    Xoxo

  17. Our babies were born five days apart and my babe is totally in the same stage right now! I’m also hoping it’s just a phase but I can’t even put her down to sprint to the bathroom. It’s so hard to find even just a second, but I have that if I hold her facing out for a few minutes before I set her in her chair it takes her a little longer to cry. Being a first time mom is not for whines! This is hard stuff!

  18. I think I understand you because I have a 3yr old and a 1 yr old who were/are just like your baby (and many other babies). First advice: empathy: understand why your baby is doing that: at this time you are all her world and if you leave the room even if you know that you will be back in 5 min, she doesn’t, she thinks that you will be gonne forever so she cries… She will start learning that sometimes you go out of her sight but that you will come back, only time will do this. In the meanwhile using a baby sling helps you to do your things. Believe me at first it may seem as an eternity that first year, but then when your baby is 3 (like mine) you will barely remember those times where you felt overwhelmed and will only remember how amazing was having your baby cuddling with you. I also run my own business and haven’t stopped siince becoming pregnant, so my practical advice is to get and accept all kind of help, sometimes we just want to feel like superwomen doing everything and refuse to ask or accept help. Finally, embarace this new you, things wont be the same again now you are mom, so just embrace it and live your new life and the love of such beautiful baby of yours. Btw great outfit!!!

  19. It is such a short little phase of time where she will actually want you to hold her. And it will soon come to an end. My best advice is to soak it up :) Hold her as much as you can (without driving your self crazy) and enjoy it! Because it will soon be over. I always try to remember the quote, “The days are long, but the years are short.” So hold that sweet baby of yours. Soon she won’t want to be held at all.

    You’re doing great Momma :)

  20. A good and tight swaddle can help her feel more secure when not being held. Sometimes it’s just allowing her some time to get used to not being held all the time but they are only little for so long and before you know it they are all grown up so enjoy the snuggles. Best of luck to you.

  21. I have a one year old and I’d say this is a totally normal phase. Your baby is still a newborn so she just likes being snuggled. I would say keep doing what you’re doing! We couldn’t survive without our Moby wrap at that age and then transitioned into an Ergo when he was a bit bigger. After a few months he would fall asleep in the wrap and when he asleep long enough we’d put him down. Don’t worry about spoiling your little one. :) You’re doing great, mama!

  22. the cutest part of this outfit is your wrap and baby girl! too precious.

    my sister’s new baby is the same way- always wants to be held! we end up passing him around to other family members when she needs to get things done, but obviously that’s not always an option! hopefully it’s just a phase!

    http://www.giltedgeblog.com

  23. I suggest not allowing yourself to think that the cry it out method is a good style of parenting. Long term studies show that kids that are successful, achieve more, and do better in school did not cry it out as children. My mother never let us “cry it out” and all 5 of us graduated from college with honors and we have two doctors among my siblings. Many studies have show that children who cry for hours don’t have good social skills and have a hard time bonding with others. My sister studies early childhood development and much of what she has told me supports hands on parenting. If you need a break sit her by you under an activity mat or prop her up with pillows and give her toys. As for naps their is a reason why she wants to be held. She is trying to create a bond and might need to be held to do so… Try different things like swing,bouncer, and etc stay by the swing or bouncer till she is asleep.

  24. If you have not invested in a swing yet, I highly recommend that you do so! Don’t worry about getting some high end swing, the Fisher Price Lamb swing has been a hit for me and all my mom friends- even above the Mamaroo! I was guilty of hanging on to my baby boy- especially while resting after a c-section- and after about a month I knew I needed to break the habit. The swing was a life saver!

  25. I am due in October and I have girlfriends that swear by the book The Baby Sleep Solution. They said it helped with sleep and daily routines. I am reading it now.

  26. Hi!! I have a sweet little girl just a few weeks younger than yours. My baby loves to be held too for sleeping and as wonderful as those moments are sometimes you just have to have a moment or two to get things done! For us what has started helping is familiarizing her with a sleep routine. It doesn’t work everytime but I can see improvement everyday. The first sign of her being tired during the day we go to her room, close the curtains (she has blackout curtains but I let some light through still so it’s noticably day, don’t want to confuse her days and nights!), turn on her noise maker to low, and then either nurse her, rock her or just lay in down depending on her mood. Like I said sometimes she only sleeps for 5 minutes but then some days it’s 3 hours! Also, I’ve started getting her up at the same time every morning to help start establishibg a routine. The rest of our days have started to flow similarly but we aren’t on a rigid schedule. I still haven’t mastered independent sleeping in the afternoons with her so usually I just wear her but you’ve gotta start somewhere! Good luck!

  27. Baby’s cannot learn a habit at this stage but they learn a ‘pattern’. Trust me I learned the hard way and could get nothing done for six months! As much as you want to hold her, start putting her in a playpen or something of the like for a certain time frame and increase the time to get her used to being in her own. My daughter is now 7 months and since birth she would open her eyes and not sleep unless she was in my arms or if I by a miracle I set her down just right and she didn’t notice only to wake up five minutes later. You have to let her learn to be on her own because it will get worse as she begins to understand more. Some may not agree with me but there are moms who are lucky enough that will say it’s just a phase but not all babies are the same. I eventually had to sleep train my baby because she knew my previous pattern was to run to her as soon as she woke. Let Isla learn to soothe herself and in turn she’ll learn to sleep on her own!

    1. The best advice I ever received was from my beloved pediatrician who is always right, I’ve learned! He told me to treat the first three months of my newborn’s life just like a 4th trimester of pregnancy. That baby was with me every moment of every day being held and loved. I got nothing else done but it was totally worth it. When baby hit 4 months old and was developmentally ready, he became very independent, slept through the night and I got a bit of my life back. He was my youngest and least fussy child. I wish I’d done that with the older two.

      Babies cannot be spoiled or learn bad habits. That is the domain of a toddler. Infants need consistent love and attention or they will never learn to trust that their needs will be met. The first three month of their lives are crucial to learning that trust. Don’t let Isla “cry it out” until she is over 4 months. If you truly need a break, call a neighbor or family member and take a quick break. But Isla needs to be held during this critical time. Slow down on your life activities right now so you can focus on her. She does not care about Pink Peonies. If your work is stressing you out then you may want to rethink your priorities right now.

      Isla is not developmentally ready to be in a pattern right now or soothe herself. You will only make her and yourself much more frustrated if you try to squeeze her into one. Go with the flow right now. If she will take a pacifier or suck on her fingers that will make life easier for you. But until she’s 4-6 months old she NEEDS to rule your life and be #1. You will have a much more independent and self-confident child later.

    2. Lili completely agree i just posted the same idea/advice it worked for me and my son when he was that age… agreed its all about a learned pattern and in learning to be on their own and sooth themselves ;)

    3. I agree. If the baby cries, but isnt hungry or wet or in pain (you´ll likely already know the difference in sound) she is simply upset. No harm in letting her fuss a little. She needs to learn to soothe herself. I never did that with my son, and down to this day (aged 5) he is not happy in his own company, and much prefers playing with others or Mommy. Yet after training my daughter, she is a polar opposite. She learned as a baby to “play” with herself. And now at 3 years old, is just as happy in her own company as with others.

    4. I agree, I think it is important from day 1 not to give them patterns or habits or whatever you want to call it. Our boy is now 7 months and we have from the very beginning put him in his playplen with interesting toys hanging above him to keep him interested. We also had a baby gym and a BabyBjorn bouncer – all of them worked wonders. He would get cranky at times, but we would just come and rattle his toys and talk to him. He would be in the playpen and bouncer more and more time slowly learning how to play by himself and to soothe himself. Personally I think that carrying them all the time just brings on more carrying and the babies from the moms around me that were held like that non-stop still require 24h of attention at 7, 9, 12 months of age. I love my boy more than anything but teaching him to play by himself and to soothe himself is not only for my benefit for also for his as he is a calmer and a very content baby.

  28. my advice would be.. It’s impossible to “spoil” or start bad habits for an infant. If they need to be snuggled, it’s always valid. During the day, or at night. I have 3 and haven’t practiced this with all of them, but with my baby I have always given snuggles/nursing as soon as he wants to and I haven’t regretted it. Babies need their mama <3 I also LOVE my Solly wraps. I own 6 of them now and still use them daily. They are the best!

  29. I am not sure my advice will help you but…I used to joke I should have a custom made suit of velcro ( great for the fashion blog) and just stick my daughter to me! I honestly couldn’t even turn my back to her or she would start to cry! The good news is…She is about to turn 13 and we are the closest Mother and Daughter you could want. You will have the joy of a special bond with her! Hang in there!

  30. My son is 18 months and for the first 4 weeks he wouldn’t sleep unless someone was holding him…and as soon as Iaid down he would wake up…needless to say at 4 weeks he went into his own crib since cosleeping was not an option. It took about 4 nights and he’s slept in his bed ever since…I laid him down when I got him to sleep, swaddled him tight and if he woke up I let him go for no more than 15 minutes and then would go in and start the process again…it.was.HARD…but like I said…he’s a champ sleeper now. I recommend downloading the wonder weeks app…it helped me as a first time mom understand what was going on…when your little one begins getting clingy and/or fussy they are likely going through a mental leap…which is awesome but it also can be scary and overwhelming for them since they are gaining a new level of understanding about their world with each leap. I’m not sure if you have one…but a swing saved me and actually allowed me to get things done around the house during those fussy times…I could put him in the swing, turn it on and get a good 30-45 minutes of time to do things I needed to do…like take a shower. Best of luck…overall do what feels right to you (we ended up hiring a housekeeper to make up for the times I couldn’t keep up).

    1. I want to second Sam on the swing. What a lifesaver! The swing, the bouncy chair and swaddling were huge for me. I am all for holding your baby but when you can’t even go to the bathroom, shower or get any sleep…something has to give. I would also be worried with my baby sleeping on my chest every night, mostly because I would be afraid I might hurt her inadvertently. My son slept in his bassinet next to my bed until he was 2 months, then in the crib in my room till 6 months. Right at the 6 month mark, he went in his own room and he didn’t miss a beat.

      My son was put on a routine very early. Within three weeks he was sleeping 6 to 8 hours a night along with his naps throughout the day. He was also a very big boy weighting 9 lbs 11 ounces at birth which may have helped. I have noticed that the bigger the baby, the more they eat, the more they sleep. Sounds obvious but you would be surprised. I would make sure your precious little girl is eating enough. As long as you know she is eating enough, diaper is good and she’s comfortable…you should be able to put her down for a few minutes. That’s where the swing comes in. My son loved it and it allowed me to clean, cook…whatever I needed to do at that moment. Swaddling him and placing him an a large play mat, the bouncy chair where he could see me, all helped tremendously.

      It goes without saying, every baby is different and only you can know what Isla needs. We all do what works best for each of us. As long as your angel is happy and healthy, how you get there doesn’t really matter. Time flies and before you know it, you will be wishing you could snuggle her in your arms again. Good luck!

  31. Isla Rose may be going through a growth spurt. My girls would NOT let me put them down and would fuss like crazy if I did during those stages! The first year is all about phases – some harder than others – but soon enough, she’ll be crawling and coming back to you only to check in for a snuggle.

    Having said that, I have my own Isla (she is four years old) and she just loves and needs LOTS of touch, cuddling, affection, etc., even more than my other daughter. It’s like she has to be pressed up against me to get her “love tank” full. But she is ALSO super independent, adventurous, and fun-loving, so it’s not a negative! But I did hold her a LOT as a result when she was a baby. One of my favorite baby purchases ever is the Ergo – I bet your Isla would love it when she gets a big bigger. Great for any babies, but especially ones who love to be close to Mom’s chest! :)

  32. I am a first time mom with an 8 month old and went through the exact same thing. It’s wonderful to hold your sweet bundle, but you also need to make food, do laundry, go to the bathroom! I started putting her down in a bassinet, her swing, or the sofa (surrounding her in pillows) after she was asleep. At first, she would wake immediately each time, but after a few times she seem to get used to this and continue sleeping.
    I also began doing a very consistent bedtime routine with her. Pj’s, feeding, same book, and prayer over crib before I put her in. This way she knows what to do. I started this by letting her fall asleep in my arms and then putting her down. Once she was used to the routine I was able to put her down awake and she would soothe herself to sleep.
    You will get there in a way that works for you and your little one. :)

  33. Read baby wise. It’s all about schedule! Not at all about letting your baby cry or ever be uncomfortable. I could never let any of my babies cry and I have 5 and baby wise was amazing for me. It’s just about having a eat play sleep and when they sleep you put them down just after you “played” with them and they were exhausted and miraculously they fell asleep on there own so peacefully. You continue this cycle always and make sure her feeding are good full feedings no snack feeding and it works like a charm. Baby wise is the book and I swear by it!

  34. Hi Rach!

    I’m a new mama, too! My little man was born June 2. I read ‘Happiest Baby on the Block’ when I was pregnant and I felt like it encouraged me to hold Parker whenever he needed me. According to the author, Isla really won’t develop any bad habits because she can’t comfort herself effectively until she is around 3/4 months old. Once my babe is asleep, I can pretty much put him down (though I usually don’t unless I need to sleep, too! Like you, I love the snuggles!). Anyway, I wouldn’t worry about spoiling her. Remember, this phase will only last so long so soak it up! One day we will be wishing they would just stay in our arms all day!

    With love,
    Hope and Baby Parker

  35. Hi! Love your blog! And it has been so fun watching yiu become mom!! I have four little girls and the best advice I can give is that all babies go through stages. For the first four months or so I carried them (in a moby) all the time for the most part. Once the y can sit up and play it becomes a little easier to put them down. I definitely became overwhlelmed with housework during the first couple if months, but just remind yourself that is just a phase. It is so good for them to be snuggled and mama too! I’m sure yiu are doing great!!! And she is precious!

  36. Hi Rach!
    Isla is so precious BTW!! She is definitely going through a phase. I would check out the app “Wonder Weeks” to help guide you through all the developmental leaps they take within their first year. Its not as daunting as reading another book.

    If you check that wonder weeks app and if shes in a leap phase…Id just leave it alone and help her along during this phase and when she mellows out a bit i would then start thinking of implementing a nap routine and using one of her naps during the day (pick one that is the easiest time of day for her to fall asleep and do it the same nap) where you do the routine and try and put her down or gently pat her to sleep. start with that.

  37. I have a soon to be 1 year old that I still nurse. He wants to be held still all the time. I nurse him to sleep and he stays in my arms the whole time while sleeping. I don’t really get anything done and that’s ok. I try to do things around the house when either my husband is home or when my mother comes over. I think what Isla is doing is pretty normal. Babies want to be close to their mommas especially babies who are breastfed. Don’t think you are doing anything wrong, she feels safe in your arms. Keep up the good work! Good luck!

  38. Hi Rachel,

    I am a mom of 8 weeks old baby and two weeks back he had the same behavior I couldn’t even put him down to go to the restroom. I panicked at first, but later I decided to put on this bassinet and go check every 5 minutes then 10 minutes, now I check every 25 minutes and it’s really working for me. Although there are times that I pretended that I was going to pick him up but I would just play a little and boom he stops crying and back to do my chores. Remember persistent is the key..
    Hope that helps.

  39. Don’t worry about bad habits. There are so many things that society tells us that our baby should be doing or not doing. But you are her mom and you know what best for her. Just do what you feel is right. Every baby is unique. You are also still in the fourth trimester phase. You are home to her. Ease that transition from womb to world through babywearing. Keep it up mama. You’re doing great.

  40. I so remember those days mama! It is so hard because all you want to do is soak up every minute with them. But yes, life has to go on- the house has to be cleaned and the laundry done and the groceries stocked. Have you tried a schedule with her? I might be blasted for that suggestion but I have done it with all 3 of mine and it has made an incredible difference! At first it takes some consistency but since she’s still so tiny she would pick it up quick. Babywise is a great book- it works for some not for all. I read it and took the general principles but made flexible to it work for our family/life. Just a suggestion but it just makes the days more predictable. She is so sweet and you are already such an amazing mother. Love reading your site! Thanks for all the inspiration!

  41. I have two children. there is nothing wrong with holding her for her to fall asleep. believe me those are the best times for cuddles because they aren’t distracted with anything else… you’ll appreciate that when she’s more active! the only habit you’ll form is that of a loving relationship that will last well into teenage years. however I will advise to put her down as soon as she falls asleep and walk away even if she fuss a little. if she’s really tired it wont be long before she falls back to sleep on her own. and also allow her some alone time when she gets up.

  42. Our little girl was the same way. “They” say a baby can’t be spoiled, and so there is no harm in holding them all of the time, but it does make getting things done very difficult. We found a bouncer to be very helpful. Swaddling was also helpful. I also recommend the video, Happiest Baby on the Block.

  43. It is never a bad habit to hold a baby. It is a normal biological need! Hold her. It is a phase and she will happy transition to br more independent when she is ready.

  44. Been there done that .. fast forward he is 10yrs next month and i went thru that phase with him as a single parent it wasnt easy .. finally one day no books needed I started a trial and error process to see what worked best .. just my 2 cents but all those books that are out there work but not always every baby is different .. I tried putting him in his crib with the mobile on, in his bouncy seat with music and a toy, in his playpen with toys and music and left him for small intervals of 5 minutes on and off throughout the day .. i always refrained from popping in during these intervals to see if he was ok .. I made sure to be within ear shot or that he could hear my voice but not see me .. eventually after a few weeks to over a month i finally weaned him off me to where he started napping by himself, i could do things around the house without him clinging to me etc.. now keep in mind they will cry the moment you put them down and walk away but again I refrained from picking him up until the timer beeped 5 minutes.. and so on throughout the day .. just an idea but it might work for Isla .. good Luck each bay is different you may have to try a few things before something clicks with her .. but its time for you to have some you time otherwise you wont be good for her or you if you are not emotionally rested .. Good Luck !!

  45. Agree with others on Happiest Baby on the Block. I’d also recommend a swaddle and swing. The swing is a miracle worker! I was so worried about a dependency too but docs said no true habits formed I until 3 months and we used the swing until 6 months (lifesaver) and transitioned away from it pretty easily. Even if my little guy would wake up when we put him in he’d be back to sleep in 30 seconds of rocking. PS – Only used it during the day. Congrats on Isla and you look awesome!

  46. Hi Rachel,
    My oldest daughter was the EXACT same way. I had to wear her ALL day and she slept on my husband at night! Having one of those wraps absolutely saved me. Trust me, she will grow out of it. My husband and I swore we wouldn’t be those parents that co-slept and carried out kids around all day, but you do what you have to do! And remember, sleep training can start at 4 months/12lbs. “This too shall pass”!

  47. Hi Rach, i had that problem with my son. And i was naive enough to bend to his will till he was 11 months old. And weighed 25 llb!! So with my daughter who wanted to head down the same path, i said No. I HIGHLY recommend reading “Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Child” which made bedtime routine a joy!!! At 4 months i could put my baby girl into her cot AWAKE, (after breastfeediing her for the night (bed time was at 5pm after her bath)) and She slept till the following morning. Only awoke during the night to feed. but i never had to rock her to sleep. Simply back into her cot and she´d coo and “talk” her way to sleep y herself. She does that till now at almost 3 years old. No nasty getting out of bed habits or bed time antics. Her bed time is now extended to 6pm, but thanks to her 14 HOUR sleep routine she is a happy charming child.
    The book comes highly recommended, also by people such as Cindy Crawford. And is not just for use while the child is a baby. And bed time routine can be started at any stage. Though in my experience the sooner the better.
    Happy reading, and testing. Well worth it!

  48. it won’t hurt her to cry for a little bit but (!) I encourage you to hold her as much as you can. Our babies are only little for a short time.

  49. How old is she? Mine took a few weeks until he was ok with sleeping in his cosleeper crib and sleep n play. Swaddling helps and you may have to experiment with different kinds. I also use the white noise app Sound Sleeper.

  50. We started letting our babies cry it out when they hit the 6 week mark. Starting off in three minute increments and then working up to 15 minutes at the absolute most. We swaddle them up super tight in the aden and ani blankets and they eventually get one board and figure it out, it’s so hard though to let them cry. But eventually you both get sleep, and it’s amazing!

    Paige
    http://thehappyflammily.com

  51. Talk to your pediatrician, Rachel. Isla is *not* yet ready *developmentally* to follow a schedule or self-soothe. That does not come until about 4 months of age. Then all the stuff about letting them cry can be tried. That’s why my ped told me to treat the first three months of a baby’s life like a 4th trimester. That baby is all yours, all the time, just like in-utero. She will not develop bad habits from you meeting her very survival needs. Live with the tiredness right now. It will pass if you do these first three months right. From 4 months on babies are developmentally ready for and thrive with a schedule. Not right now. Be patient.

  52. I’m a swedish mama with a daughter only 12 weeks old. The app “the wonder weeks” have saved my life and kept my sanity somewhat intact when my girl has been soooo fussy. LOVE the app! can’t recommend it enough!

  53. that wrap is genius if you need to be hands free! Does she do well in those rocking swings? Sometimes its the movement that they like. Are you swaddling her still? Check out the miracle blanket, it’s controversial but guaranteed to make them feel like they’re back in the womb-they love it!
    xo, jill
    http://www.BornFancy.com

  54. She’s 6ish weeks old, right? My son was the same. The wrap saved my life. It will pass, and you can’t spoil a baby! Google “the fourth trimester”… It will explain a lot! Good luck mama.. You got this! :)

  55. I will also say this… Follow your gut and do what works for you! Human beings are the only “animals” that seem to be keen on making their babies independent from birth. If it feels unnatural, it’s probably because IT IS. At the end of the day, it’s a parenting style, but always follow your mommy gut. It’s very rarely going to be wrong

  56. It’s a developmental leap. Get the app, the wonder weeks. it will save you from going crazy and worrying that you’ve broken your baby. I found it very helpful and reassuring to know that the fussiness/restless/cluster feeding etc was for a reason, it’s also super interesting.

  57. I am a mom of two boys. My youngest is very attached, even still at 7 months old. But it has been getting better. What seems to help is if i lay down beside him holding him tight while we both lay down, and then once he falls asleep I can get up and move him to his crib or playpin. It might take a few tries but usually it works. Or lots of people swear by swaddling. My oldest son liked the Woombie swaddle. It zips us so you dont have to actually know how to swaddle or get it super tight. Just zip and be done. If you try swaddling, swaddle Isla and then hold her until she falls asleep then place her down. But again, its gonna take some practice and her getting used to the swaddle. GOOD LUCK and keep being gorgeous! oh and drink coffee (decaf or half calf because your nursing) :-)

  58. So snuggly!! My personal opinion is that there is no such thing as holding your baby too much. It’s impossible to spoil a baby. They need their mama for every little thing and that’s the way it’s supposed to be! That said, it’s a totally different story if it’s wearing you down! I have a baby bjorn seat that I would have DIED without. I actually had it right in the bathroom for months because it’s the only way I could pee and shower haha. Its an angled seat that kind of bounces and I highly recommend it.

  59. Hi Rach!
    Long time follower here. First of all, you amaze me. You are rocking this new mama gig with so much style and grace. Seriously.

    Second, about the baby holding…. I had a fussy baby only from the hours of 11 p.m. until 4 a.m.. During the day for naps and just to recline her so I could things done, I would set her in her swing. For naps, I would set her in her swing and turn on her sound machine. Right now, your little Isla is still so small and this is technically the 4th trimester for her. ;) She is still craving that snuggle feeling. Some things you can try other than what you’re doing now is swaddling for naps, swings or bouncy/vibrating seat for naps and just to rest. I’ve heard great things about the MamaRoo.

    I have a New Mama 101 series on my blog with lists of my favorite things that helped us, best books, products, etc., if you ever want to see what another mom is recommending. :) I’m sure your sister is a wealth of knowledge too. Best wishes to you and your sweet girl! I know everyone probably tells you this, but this phase will go by in a blink! Xoxo

  60. You have to let her cry it out. Read Baby Wise. Life changing! We have the BEST baby because of the book. Our son went through the same thing. Now, he sleeps 10 hours straight in his own crib in his own nursery.

    1. I agree that when her little one is older, they have the option of doing cry it out but her baby is 6 weeks old!!! That is not good advice at all for a newborn. We put out little one in her crib starting at 4.5 months, prior to that she was in our room in a bassinet. I agree with an earlier comment that it is in fact the 4th trimester and babies crave that closeness of the womb. The book is great for 4-6 months old and up. Rach, you are doing everything wonderfully, please don’t let her cry it out! When she is older there is a special way to do it so you’re putting them down and check in every 5, then 8, then 10 mins for the first few days. They can be trained in 3-5 day which is amazing but NOT right now, she is far too young.

  61. This is a normal stage that almost 99% of parents have been through. There are no ‘bad habits’ at this stage. Kids don’t develop that until they are much older, usually around 18 months. Only in the American culture do we frown upon holding or cosleeping, basic nurturing in general. Kids who are nurtured and held and loved grow up to be more empathetic. What we think are ‘bad habits’ are essentially what is difficult about parenting and what are truly just ‘nuisances’ to us and our previous way of life pre-baby. But parenting is not supposed to be easy. I also don’t believe in the theory of ‘crying it out’. Babies instincts are to cry and alert their caregivers that they need to feel safe. Essentially what we do by letting them cry it out is tell them that no one will tend to you. Letting babies get distressed is a practice that can damage children and their relational capacities in many ways for the long term.
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out
    I am a mother to 3 kids, so yes, I’ve been through it, read through every research for non-nurturing and nurturing methods and I wouldn’t do it any other way than the common sense way of being compassionate to another human being.

    1. I love your comment! I couldn’t agree more! It’s society/culture that tells us to create independent children when in fact, babies and children in general just need more love, a feeling of safety and nurturing to raise them up into the loving and capable adults they will one day be.

    2. I completely agree with Andrea. When you hold and sleep with Isla you are meeting her instinctual needs. I would add however that we are meant to parent more in a community than our modern society provides. So the best way to give Isla all the snuggles she needs and not neglect yourself (also very important) is to gather all the support you can with family and friends. Have them either help you with your cooking and cleaning or hold her while you do what you need to. And don’t forget about hiring support when you need it. We hired a sleep doula (who I really trusted) when my son was a few months old and I had gotten sick. She coslept in our guest room with my son for a couple nights while I caught up on sleep. Support, support, support! It is super important to giving both you and Isla what you need!
      Jill

  62. Rach,
    I have a 5 month old so I know what you are talking about. It’s completely normal! Isla just has a great attachment to you. You are not starting any bad habits. It’s completely normal, again she just has a great attachment to you. Use to your warmth your heart beat etc. I know it doesn’t feel like it and you want to get things done but it will
    Pass so enjoy it!

  63. I’ve had two good sleepers so far my little one is 4 months and sleeps 12hrs a night and I think what has really helped with both is putting them down and letting them fall to sleep on their own both for naps and bed. I know with my first I kind of just let her dose and sleep there with me but now with two I have realized how important it is to stick with a schedule similar nap and bedtimes every day and they will get the hang of it! Sometimes a comfort item helps like a nook or special (baby safe) blankie/lovie and even just having your hand on them until they fall sleep can be comforting. Of course there’s nothing wrong with a little cuddle time, it goes so fast take in every moment!! I’ve finally come to the realization this time some things can wait they’ll never remember how clean the house was or how perfect your outfits, hair, house any of those things were, just that you gave them lots of love, time and fun memories!! And wraps/carriers are awesome even just until they dose off then lay them down. Good luck :-)

  64. My sister-in-law had a gorgeous baby boy last year and (similar to one of the other tips already given) she was told to put an article of her clothing that smelled of her MILK. No mysteries as to what that ithe be lol! Apparently it helps baby feel like mom is not too far. Another thing that seems to have helped is, particularly for night time sleeping, putting a hot water bottle in baby’s bassinet or crib at least 20 minutes before putting baby down. That way when you place baby in their bed, and remove the hot water bottle, it’s all warm and cozy and they just settle right in. Hope you find something that helps!

  65. I am a mother to two a girl who is now 8 years old and a baby boy who recently turned one. As a first time mom at the age of 20 I was so worried about doing everything the right way, as I’m sure most new moms are. I tried some sleep training but never let either baby cry it out as it completely went against my instincts.I know several people my sister included who felt fine with the cry it out method but it wasn’t for me or my babies. I did not have the type of babies that could sleep on their own very well, they seemed to want to be held all the time, were happiest in my arms or close by and slept longer and better being held or co-sleeping (something I always swore I’d never do). You have to follow your instincts and sometimes that goes against what everyone else advises. Trust me you will not spoil your baby by responding to her and holding her some babies need more attention than others and all babies have a strong need for their mothers. I can say that people constantly comment on how incredibly happy, affectionate, secure and well-adjusted my kids are and I truly believe it has alot to do with how we as parents responded to their needs. Every baby is different and its okay to parent differently according to what your baby’s needs demand and not follow the latest parenting trends. You might find this article interesting http://sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/06/30/self-settling-what-really-happens-when-you-teach-a-baby-to-self-soothe-to-sleep/

  66. My girls are now 2 & 3 years old. With my first I followed all the advice of not holding her/rocking her sleep and teaching her to settle in her cot. With my second girl it was just easier to rock her sleep as that only took a few minutes as opposed to the eternity it seemed to take to settle her in her cot.

    Now both girls sleep well and are happy healthy little people.

    My advice is to do what works for you and Isla. You can’t “spoil” a baby and any “habits” are really just short phases.

    X Allison @ http://www.thetallmamastyle.blogspot.com.au

  67. I think just enjoy these are the best moments in your life!!!!!
    They need to be held to feel secure. I would bring the baby bed he had and had rollers when he was this tiny to the kitchen which allowed me to rock him and still get stuff done.

    Once they graduate and get a little older you have the swing and often sleep a ton there for breaks.
    Get a college kid to come do all the dishes and all that unimportant stuff ;)

    Take care! Gorgeous and so jealous of this wonderful moment

  68. Have you tried the Miracle Blanket? That thing worked like a charm for my little guy. He could allay wiggle out of any other swaddle but when I put the miracle blanket on him it was like he knew it was bed time and he went right to sleep. I highly recommend it!

  69. My daughter was the same way. I found that sleeping with a swaddle blanket the night before and wrapping her in the blanket the following day really helped. Being wrapped tightly in something that smelled like me which made her very happy.

    1. Sorry, should have clarified! I only swaddled her when she was going down for a nap or at bedtime. Other than that, I would keep her nearby in a bouncy seat or a swing.

  70. Hold her and enjoy it! It goes so fast and you can’t spoil a newborn baby by holding them! They
    Know what they need and right now it’s being held for her! This phase will pass so just hang in there!! Congrats on your week baby!

  71. I haven’t had a chance to read through your comments, so I am unsure if someone has mentioned this yet or not, but we have an 11 month old daughter and followed (beginning at 2 weeks) the “babywise” method. Some people consider it controversial, which is truly silly to me (her ped. suggested it as well!). But it worked wonders for us (Penny slept 10 hour stretches at 2 months, and started doing a solid 12 hours each night not too long after). She is just the happiest little baby (when we are out and about, I regularly get asked “is she always this happy?!” and I honestly answer with “yes!”) The controversy surrounds the “cry it out” method, which my husband and I refer to as the “fuss it out” method…as you know, you learn your babies cries. We know her distressed/hungry cry as opposed to her tired cry. We never let her scream her little lungs out if we knew something was wrong based on her cry, but would let her fuss if her cry was the tired or bored cry. We also let her nap in a little swing that fit around her pretty snuggly (we would also swaddle her so she felt secure, much like she’s being held). Try giving it a shot, and shoot me an e-amil if you’re curious about babywise, and I can fill you in a bit so you don’t have to read the book :) good luck!

  72. My first was like this people say oh enjoy it it goes so fast and you are just exhausted and want to be able to put the baby down. Totally been there! Maybe she just doesn’t like to be flat on her back? I swear by the Fischer Price Rock n Play my babies slept happily in there until they were 3-4 months. Congrats on your girl! The first four months are the hardest. Accept help, make time for yourself, sleep when you can, and drink copious of amounts of coffee and wine as needed to survive! It gets better and your first baby is the one you learn with the next one will be a breeze!

  73. You can never spoil a newborn, that is for sure! It’s just not practical though to be holding her all day and night. But if you want to enjoy that time with her, by all means do it because they are only this little once and you can use a wrap to wear her but perhaps make certain times of the day where she sits in her bouncy seat next to you or lays in her playpen right beside you so she’s right with you but not on you so you can get things done and she learns a bit more independence.

    I used the swing with my little one but they can get used to the lulling effect and sleep right through feedings so you have to wake her. Also, a swing isn’t easy to just move around. Mine was in the living room near our kitchen table where I work so I could see her and was very close to her and she could see me but she wasn’t being held by me at that point when I was working on my laptop. Having said that, I do REGRET not trying harder with baby wearing and slings. I also regret not holding her more than I did, I chose doing some work to give myself a bit of a break as I’m a stay-at-home/work-at-home full time mom and I felt it gave her some independent time which felt right at the time but looking back, it messed up my nursing a bit, she wasn’t drinking as much as she probably could have been so then I spent months worried about her weight and drinking enough, I just didn’t realize all this soon enough. I say this because having our baby close to us is the most natural thing we can do. I would say take these comments with a grain of salt and ignore everyone’s well meaning advice. I know you asked for it but do what works for your family and remember how blessed you are to get to be home with her and still do work, etc. Others wish they could have held their little ones more but couldn’t. They are only this tiny for such a short period of time and you’re creating a special bond with her. Best wishes!

  74. My baby girl was the exact same way. She has never been a really good sleeper, but eventually she got to the point where she would sleep in her bed. She is still in the same room as me and my husband though, and is still a huge snuggle, so I guess just find what works best for you :) I know it is super hard though running on such little sleep, good luck mama!

  75. I don’t comment on anything, but drop everything and read Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. Read the book, live by the book and you will have a baby that loves to sleep and because they are so rested they are happy/easy babies. Any other book is a waste in my opinion.

    1. in short (this book will explain), your baby should never be awake for longer than two hours at a time. Sleep begets sleep. The more rested and more sleep she gets the better she will sleep. If she is crying when you put her to bed, it is because she is overtired (or hungry), and you have missed the window. If there is one thing i understand about babies… it is that they need proper sleep or you both are batty! email me if you need help :)

  76. Although I too agree that this is just a phase, if you do want to put her down, place your shirt from the day before on or next to her. It’s an easy way for her to smell you and feel close to you. Trust your instincts! Good luck.

  77. First & foremost Congratulations your the cutest little mama!
    My little guy is almost 4 months… 1. Swing is the Best thing ever
    2. Separation anxiety is a thing, hard to put bundle of joy down. Just remember they only stay little for not long, so enjoy don’t worry about “spoiling” or dishes etc you have a lifetime of housework.

  78. First, I wish my daughter would have let me wrap her up – she screamed bloody murder when I tried. To that point, every child and parent are unique. Only you and your husband know what is best for your family and daughter. Everyone needs to be happy and there are ways to find that medium.

    In my experience, no single solution fit my kids. I had to mesh a lot of things together to create the formula that worked. And then I needed to do it all over again when my son was born. And the minute you get it figured out, a growth spurt happens and you are right back where you started.

    So do what makes your family a happy one. If that means holding her all the time, ok. If that means weaning her off being held, ok. It’s ALL ok – whatever YOU choose.

    And on the bright side, my kids are now 5 and 4 and I finally have things figured out. Until I don’t. :)

  79. Dear Rachel,

    it is very difficult to find some balance between spoiling the baby and cuddling. My daughter is 18 months now but I still sometimes have that feeling “am I spoiling her by this?”. When she was born we got a beautiful cradle on wheels and I moved her around the apartment so she could be with me all the time. I put a mobile with birds on it and she spent lot of time trying to touch and lately play with it and she loved it. Of course I held her a lot, but she also had a little “her” time several times a day and I think it helped her to grow to an independent child who can play alone and does not require my assistance all the time. It was also a great way how to teach her to sleep well at nights – during the day she slept and played in the cradle with normal noise level and daylight but in the evening we put her in her crib in our quiet bedroom with lights off and she started to sleep through nights very soon…

  80. Hi Rach,
    My only advice is just relax about the advice and enjoy every moment you can with her.
    My first was also like that. They will grow out of that phase, or just get too big and heavy.
    I had 2 Bubs under 15months. You will never have as much time as you do now. I don’t get to snuggle my second baby nearly as much.
    I miss those long snuggle time now.
    Just embrace the moment. X

  81. I was in the same situation at that stage! Just keep doing what you’re doing and the phase will pass :). And just think of all the things she will be familiar with by being with you so much! Isla is so so cute. Lovely family!

  82. love the print on this adorable pink wrap! The baby is always my best accessory! ;) I had my little boy the same day you had your girl and I know exactly the feeling. he too needs to be held and rocked to sleep now. it may just be a stage so just listen to what she wants but keep wrapping so you can get things done. the main thing is, she clearly wants to cuddle with you and that’s never a bad thing! I have the ergo and I’ve been using it a ton although now I’m seriously considering getting one of these great wraps (in a boy color though) thanks for sharing this and inspiring me as always! xx. gigi. http://www.gigikkitchen.com

  83. It is so overwhelming to become a new mother. I was not prepared for it. But I read “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child”. While your baby is still little, the information will come in handy very soon. It’s a very helpful book for parents to best understand how to help your child become a good sleeper. Making sure your child gets the sleep she needs is the best thing you can do for her. We had to sleep train our daughter when she was a baby. It wasn’t easy, but it worked and it help make me a little more sane. I can remember her crying and crying at naptime. It was so stressful. But she grew out of it. You get through it. I also recommend the Rock and Play and any other bouncer you can get that she likes. Before you know it, she will be moving around and not want to be held though – so take a little time each day just to enjoy the snuggles.

  84. Pick up the Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. Sensible advice that works for every baby. I used it for my son, and my sisters have used it for all their babies-all have very different personalities-and they have all slept well and ate well because of it. I call it the baby bible

  85. All four of my babies went through this at this same age. Don’t feel guilty for needing some time to get things done, shower, eat. Snuggling a new babe is the best but it can be rough not to have a little time to yourself. Lay her down when you can, and just remember this phase goes by so fast so just forget the house and cuddle. In the next few weeks to a month she’ll start napping better!

  86. Break the habit now. My daughter (London) is now 3 years old and I just started training her to sleep in her own bed. When she was a new born, I started the habit of holding her all the time and she never grew out of it. When you need to get things done around the house put your baby girl in her bouncer or swing (whatever you have)

  87. You look gorgeous Rachel!
    I love your little carrier and how you have her so close to you. Isla is precious and I love seeing all the posts with her on Instagram.
    I know that newborn stage can be exhausting and the first 3 months are usually the roughest. But like you said, you don’t want her to get used to being held ALL day long. When my son was born, I made sure that after I fed him and burped him, I would lay him down in bassinet or carrier, because I didn’t want him to sleep on me all the time. Cuddle for a little bit but than put her down, so she gets used to sleeping on her own. Don’t pick her up the second she wakes up, but give her a little time – learn her coos and why she’s making those sounds. If she wakes up happy, give her time to relax and just be, then come and take her/talk to her. Giving her time when she starts to cry is a good thing two – you will learn why she’s crying and differentiate what she needs. Whether she needs to to be changed or just a little fussy and needs time to settle down. It’s not about letting her cry it out but learning how/why she’s crying. Soon you will learn what every cry means. Also, I would stick to a schedule when feeding her – if it’s every 2-3 hours and she’s fussing 1 hour after feeding, check her diaper and try other things to sooth her. By holding out you will be able to get her used to a schedule.

    Another thing, call your mom/sister/aunt/husband/neighbor – tell them know you need help. It’s the time to take advantage of everyone’s help
    Best of luck!
    Hope you get some rest soon.

  88. Mom of 2,4, and 6 year old. She could have a little reflux. I had the best luck swaddling and laying down on a slight incline. I tried lots of thing and products out there and for my kids the Fisher Price Rock n Play was a lifesaver.
    I put a head insert in the RNP to prevent them from getting a flat head and I swear it was a game changer. Baby feels like they are being held, slight incline to help with reflux, and I always swaddled for first 6 months. Enjoy every minute!!! But I do know how consuming it can be…
    Meaghan

  89. First, I learned quickly you will get a ton of advice, a ton of different and conflicting advice at that and when that happened to me I got soooo overwhelmed and confused and doubted myself as a mother. But, the best piece of advice I did get (and followed) was: Do what works best for you and her, not what worked for your friend, your sister, your neighbor, or even the pediatrician’s kids. You and your baby will find a groove and it will be all good!

    With that being said, I will give my advice (b/c this worked best for me and my babe): Hold her, cuddle her, snuggle her. You will not create bad habits by doing this. There are hundreds of studies proving this actually helps your baby now and in the future. They feel safe, secure, loved, and learn they can trust you and know you are there and you are giving your little Isla exactly what she needs at this time in her life, which is simply you, your touch, smell, sound. . Baby-wearing was how I got most things done in the first 3-4 months after my little girl was born. She is 8 months old now, still loves to be held and snuggled to sleep but sleeps on her own just fine. I NEVER did any sort of “sleep training” (also a ton of research on how this can negatively affect your sweet baby), just went with the flow and we figured it out together. She eventually fell into her own natural routine and does great with naps and at night. I exclusively breastfeed as well if that helps at all. Good luck, many prayers and best wishes your way with you and your new one! You two are precious!!

  90. Love the Solly Wrap! I just had my third baby on Mother’s Day and he is actually going through that very same phase of wanting to be held 24/7! It is a phase though. Don’t pick her up the moment she starts crying, give it a few min. Soothe her as much as you can with just your voice. Once you do pick her up. check the diaper, do the feeding thing, or whatever it is she needs. Then try putting her in a swing, bouncer, whatever she likes. If she continues to cry again try to soothe her with just your voice, wait a bit, carry her for a bit, but put her down if she is still crying. It sounds pointless, but after a couple reps of this she’ll stop crying. At least its worked with my kids. Good luck, trust me it’ll pass!

  91. Being a mother of now grown children, my only advice is to enjoy every moment and every phase. They grow up too fast. Before you know it, she won’t want to be held. She will be independent, busy and on the move. It doesn’t matter if you get anything done. It will all be there tomorrow. However, before you know it, she will be a toddler, a little girl, a teenager, a young woman and then a married woman with her first baby. I did not learn this lesson until my last child and I am glad I did. You are a darling mother. Enjoy this time.

  92. Aria has to be snuggled for naps but sleeps in her bed at night. All I can say is just enjoy the snuggles because I’m pretty sure it’s a phase and before you know it she’s off on her own. Love the wraps! They are a life saver. Good luck!

    Nightchayde

  93. I have a 23 yr old son; 21 yr old daughter and 19 yr old son. Many may disagree but this time is pretty short. It’s okay if you hold that precious bundle every second. I know you have things to do but the laundry will always be there – try not to worry too much about your chores and ENJOY this time; it will pass.

  94. I remember how frustrating it felt not to be able to get anything done, but time goes so quickly and once she starts moving she will no longer want to be held. Enjoy every minute and hold her. Don’t let anyone tell you different or that you are “spoiling” her.

  95. Congratulations! Your daughter is beautiful!
    My son was like Isla. He loved being held.
    Holding a baby that young all the time will not
    create a bad habit. Don’t worry :)
    Once she starts walking, she’ll prefer walking
    than being held. And you’ll wish she was still
    a tiny baby. They don’t stay small very long :(
    Just hold her as much as she wants to be held!

  96. I have a 1 yr old @ 3 month old girls. I followed “Mom’s on Call” it’s a book written by nurses & it worked for me!

  97. hold her! hold her hold her! i wish i held my son more (now 12 months) he just want to be crawling and running around! so unjoy every second

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